Top 10 Stock & Sinister Cars

There are loads of Top 10 posts on sinister cars floating around the web, but most of them don’t consider the term “sinister” beyond looks. Like millions of other subjects regarding aesthetic design, I fully understand this is highly subjective, it’s just Gargling Gas thinks when the term “sinister” is applied to cars, it should also include “presence”.

Below, I’ve listed my personal Top 10 Stock & Sinister cars.

Mitsubishi EVO VIII FQ-400

10. Mitsubishi EVO VIII FQ-400

10. Mitsubishi EVO VIII FQ-400

This is an angry car with lots of sharp lines and dark orifices I daren’t insert a finger. This hooligan both “talks the talk” and “walks the walk”… in fact, the FQ-400 decimates the walk.

1959 Cadillac Coupe Deville Series 62

9. 1959 Cadillac Coupe Deville Series 62

9. 1959 Cadillac Coupe Deville Series 62

The Series 62 Deville is a two-and-half ton monster with staring eyes and a menacing grin. Should Satan ever find himself in a car showroom with some cash to burn, only a black Deville will suffice. Despite resembling a mechanical bat ready to spread its acres of folded wings, this Caddy would leave Batman trembling and sobbing in the arms of Robin.

1982 BMW E24 635 CSi

8. 1982 BMW E24 635 CSi

8. 1982 BMW E24 635 CSi

This car has the nickname, “Sharknose” due to its front end. Although the grille is certainly imposing, it’s all about those eyes.

If the saying “Your eyes are the windows to your soul” holds true, I don’t want anything to do with this beast.

1969 Dodge Charger R/T

7. 1969 Dodge Charger R/T

7. 1969 Dodge Charger R/T

The sinister for me in the Charger comes from the hidden lights/grille; as a kid I loved the front end appeared as a gaping black intake – no British cars had or do feature this headlight flap.

The Mercedes-Benz 600

6. The Mercedes-Benz 600

6. The Mercedes-Benz 600

The 600 is four tons of German engineering that only understands police and army escorts and cheering crowds. This car possesses serious presence and an air of superiority only matched by its occupant sitting in the back. Psychopaths such as Saddam Hussain, Pol Pot, Fidel Castro and Ferdinand Marcos have glided among their minions in the Mercedes 600.

Marussia B2

Marussia B2

5. Marussia B2

Their F1 cars aren’t anything to shout about, but just look at this insectile machine above. This Russian car’s turbo-charged 2.8-L engine rockets it to 60-mph in 3.8-seconds. This post isn’t really about performance, but considering the Marussia B2 reminds me of those trap-door spiders, both its looks and speed send shivers up my spine.

1971 Lincoln Continental

1971 Lincoln Continental

4. 1971 Lincoln Continental

Up until the 80s, Lincoln Continentals were heavy and luxurious cars, well-equipped and boasting excessive styling. They are long, sleek, best in black, and during the its 60’s “slab-side” design and suicide doors they are now affectionately called “suicide-slabs”.

It could have something to do with the horror movie, The Car (1977), although I think the stock version above is more sinister, despite famed Hollywood car designer, George Barris’ evil slant on the design.

1958 Plymouth Fury

1958 Plymouth Fury

3. 1958 Plymouth Fury

The next car is my personal favourite novel/movie car. She’s a jealous and possessive car, one with a penchant for 60s music and killing.

The ’58 Fury is called Christine and comes from the mind of writer, Stephen King. Although he made a few technical errors when he penned the novel, one about the transmission and the other the fact Plymouth’s coupe in ’58 was in fact the Belvedere (this causes much debate in social media threads from people who haven’t read the book or watched the movie), King nailed one hell of a novel.

Bone stock (apart from her owner requesting a special red for the year), Christine rolled off the production line looking poisonous. Like the aforementioned Caddy, Christine’s fins, lines and menacing grille, give the car a truly insidious and sinister presence.

“Don’t talk about my car; she’s real sensitive.” ~ Arnie Cunninham (owner).

Buick GNX

Buick GNX

2. Buick GNX

The Buick GNX is my personal favourite “real” car. I have probably over-blogged about the Buick GNX and the only reason its not on my top spot is because I want this article true and in no way biased, and when you see the following car you’ll understand why I couldn’t possibly usurp the queen of sinister.

Despite all this, the GNX is one evil automobile. The “GN” stands for “Grand National”, a turbo-charged and revolutionary kick-in-the-pants Buick Regal that only came in black. The “X” stands for “Experimental”, Buick’s farewell to the Grand National. In 1987 the Grand National received more horsepower (around 250-275), although the exact figure is debatable due to Buick playing down the engine’s total output.

What we are left with is a turbo-charged V6 car capable of hitting 60-mph in 4.8-seconds – at the time this was simply staggering. With its glossy and impossibly deep black paint, black wheels, tinted windows and all of those sharp angles, the GNX is almost the true epitome of sinister.

Rolls-Royce Phantom Jonckheere Coupe

Rolls-Royce Phantom Jonckheere Coupe

1. Rolls-Royce Phantom Jonckheere Coupe

I really wanted either Christine or the Buick GNX to take top spot, but I think you’ll agree the car above wins it hands down. The Jonckheere Coupe is the epitome of sinister and evil – even the sound of the word, “Jonckheere” adds chills to the already sinister, “Phantom”.

In 1925 Rolls Royce created this simply beautiful yet sinister car, the equivalent of Cruella De Vil or the evil Queen from Snow White.

Rolls-Royce Phantom Jonckheere Coupe

Rolls-Royce Phantom Jonckheere Coupe

Just take in her gloriously long rear, her seductive curves and a fin that would give Jaws nightmares. For me it’s the ultimate in opulence and decadence, a car even too sinister for the Devil himself.

I hope you liked my choices, and remember, I understand the topic is subjective and you may switch some of the cars around – if you have your own choices, please comment and let me know.

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