Customise (But for the love of God) Don’t Change Her Character

Gargling Gas truly believes that cars have feelings… which means a car has a character just like you and I. With that said, how many poor and distraught cars do you see trundling around town where its owner has decided against its innate character and forced a styling that compromises the car’s true personality?

There are many characters within the automotive world, from cute to angry, sensible to sporty, and to badly customise a car to the point of trying to make it something it isn’t should be punishable by law.

Take this Rolls Royce Phantom below, for example. It fell into the hands of a celebrity sports person (NFL), therefore was in imminent danger of being meddled with in all the wrong ways from the start. The Lambo just about gets away with it, as it is a menacing, sleek and aggressive supercar.

And then there’s this two tone effort below, which I am too distressed to talk about.

A Rolls Royce is a regal and proud machine, its heritage brimming with words like quality, opulence, comfort, perfection etc… It is the best of the best made from the earth’s finest materials. A Rolls Royce was designed to go from A to B silently, on a magic carpet, accelerating smoothly as though cutting through a cloud of silk. Hours should be spent polishing her, not hours of praying birds don’t defecate on her and ruin the matte finish.

“Murdering Out” a Roller is like forcing the Queen into leather and white stilettos – it doesn’t work, although I’d like to see that.

Wow, I may have to take all that back now… never mind.

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Celebrities Have No Automotive Taste

Paris Hilton's Poor Bentley

Paris Hilton’s Poor Bentley

Everyone knows the saying, “Money can’t buy you taste”, and this is all too evident when you look at what the celebrities want from and do to their cars.

It shouldn’t, but it bothers me. After all, I spend all day trawling the internet for interesting snippets about cars – I have a passion and love affair with the automobile and understand what goes into creating one.

For example: Lamborghini, the auto equivalent of Prada, the manufacturer known for its beautiful styling and incredible feats of technology and performance are one of the leading brands chosen by the celebrity. The Italian designers put the heart and soul into every angle and line, just as di Vinci pondered over Mona’s smile, only for it land into the hands of a rapper.

Chris Brown's Vomit Lambo

Chris Brown’s Vomit Lambo

What exactly was Chris Brown thinking here? It looks like he hired a pie-eating champion to swallow a gallon of castor oil and a mix of red, grey and black paint, “Give it twenty minutes, G, then blast that Lambo.”

Justin Bieber's Murdered Out Rover

Justin Bieber’s Murdered Out Rover

Since the black ‘murdered out’ look has suffered overkill by every celeb out there, from Beckham to Beiber, Disick to Dyrdek, it now seems the chrome finish is in. If it wasn’t enough to be naturally gifted with beautiful genes, to spend your life in the media’s eye, adored by all, these narcissistic egos now feel their cars should resemble giant mirrors. The Americans have a penchant for chrome wheels, but to cover a whole car in a skin that reflects away all of its design qualities is plain dumb.

Kim Kardashian In An R8-shaped Mirror

Kim Kardashian In An R8-shaped Mirror

I may come across as a little snobby now, but I’m just saying how I see it. Under no circumstances should a rapper, straight outta tha hood, or even a sports star clad in training attire step into a Rolls Royce – I’m not saying they haven’t earned the right, but it looks plain ridiculous. Baggy jeans, brand new white trainers (pumps), chains, tattoos, the grandeur and elegance of a Rolls Royce Phantom…

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I have saved the best for last. This trend is known as “donk” and can be seen below. Now I’m all for big rims but this is taking it to the point of completely ruining a car aesthetically and mechanically. If you blur your eyes slightly, it looks like a clown filling up his clown car at a clown petrol station.

Donk To The Head

Donk To The Head