WTF Is Donk?

When someone turns a classic American car into a donk, they are doing the equivalent of sending a kid to school with the wrong gym trainers – whilst all the other kids are wearing Nike, the poor soul has to make do with some mediocre brand.

What is wrong with people these days? Why is this acceptable and why in buggery are people actually copying this trend?

It’s apparently popular in New Orleans, Memphis or Miami as a response to the West Coast’s car scene. The West Coast slam their cars and call them Low Riders – this I can understand because a slammed Impala does look cool; however, putting 50″ rims on a car is just plain stupid.

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How To Donk A Car:

Buy a potentially stunning classic such as a ’64 Impala, and instead of perhaps lowering it slightly, do the complete opposite to the extent of the car needing rims the size of ferris wheels. You won’t be able to drive fast, the engine will have to work harder, and you’ll ultimately look like a complete ******** ******.

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I want to hurt the person who did this to a Corvette. I feel genuine concern and can understand this poor car’s embarrassment every time it has to leave its garage. A fast performance car that should sprinting down a highway reduced to having to tip toe everywhere.

It looks stupid, it’s wrong, the Hip Hop scene are all wrong, I’m right, stop doing it.

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Celebrities Have No Automotive Taste

Paris Hilton's Poor Bentley

Paris Hilton’s Poor Bentley

Everyone knows the saying, “Money can’t buy you taste”, and this is all too evident when you look at what the celebrities want from and do to their cars.

It shouldn’t, but it bothers me. After all, I spend all day trawling the internet for interesting snippets about cars – I have a passion and love affair with the automobile and understand what goes into creating one.

For example: Lamborghini, the auto equivalent of Prada, the manufacturer known for its beautiful styling and incredible feats of technology and performance are one of the leading brands chosen by the celebrity. The Italian designers put the heart and soul into every angle and line, just as di Vinci pondered over Mona’s smile, only for it land into the hands of a rapper.

Chris Brown's Vomit Lambo

Chris Brown’s Vomit Lambo

What exactly was Chris Brown thinking here? It looks like he hired a pie-eating champion to swallow a gallon of castor oil and a mix of red, grey and black paint, “Give it twenty minutes, G, then blast that Lambo.”

Justin Bieber's Murdered Out Rover

Justin Bieber’s Murdered Out Rover

Since the black ‘murdered out’ look has suffered overkill by every celeb out there, from Beckham to Beiber, Disick to Dyrdek, it now seems the chrome finish is in. If it wasn’t enough to be naturally gifted with beautiful genes, to spend your life in the media’s eye, adored by all, these narcissistic egos now feel their cars should resemble giant mirrors. The Americans have a penchant for chrome wheels, but to cover a whole car in a skin that reflects away all of its design qualities is plain dumb.

Kim Kardashian In An R8-shaped Mirror

Kim Kardashian In An R8-shaped Mirror

I may come across as a little snobby now, but I’m just saying how I see it. Under no circumstances should a rapper, straight outta tha hood, or even a sports star clad in training attire step into a Rolls Royce – I’m not saying they haven’t earned the right, but it looks plain ridiculous. Baggy jeans, brand new white trainers (pumps), chains, tattoos, the grandeur and elegance of a Rolls Royce Phantom…

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I have saved the best for last. This trend is known as “donk” and can be seen below. Now I’m all for big rims but this is taking it to the point of completely ruining a car aesthetically and mechanically. If you blur your eyes slightly, it looks like a clown filling up his clown car at a clown petrol station.

Donk To The Head

Donk To The Head