If you read yesterday’s hearse post, you’ll have seen the image of a rather mean, stretched and black Dodge Challenger. The rendering is by a talented individual called, Aaron Beck, a guy who obviously knows and understands what makes a car badass. His twisted and sinister vision is capable of possessing a collection of nuts and bolts with the kind of presence that gives Gargling Gas goose bumps.
Take the Plymouth Barracuda above, for example, a car I could see myself cruising along Nevada back roads in, body parts in the trunk, wads of cash on the passenger seat, the throb of V8 the perfect soundtrack as I headed towards the horizon.
Rocket Bunny Cuda (Nissan S13 front end) – Aaron Beck
If someone were to ask you to imagine what the love child of a 70s Cuda and an early 90s Nissan S13 would look like, you’d assume they’d left their medication in the cabinet that morning. Ask Aaron Beck and he’d answer, “It would like a Rocket Bunny drift car, of course.”
The lines all work, as does the front end, and as far as the usual LS V8 engine swap the drifters all go for today, leave the original Hemi in it and call it perfection.
Rat Cuda – Aaron Beck
The Rat look is a phenomenon that just keeps growing, its rusty insidious tendrils reaching out past the usual fare of American iron to German soil and the VWs and Bimmers. The Rat Cuda above is a rendering done for the up and coming Mad Max: Fury Road movie. This is another reason I feel Aaron is worthy of a post, the fact he is associated with one of my favourite road movies.
Mad Max Vehicle – Aaron Beck
Aaron Beck’s Kuda
From his renderings to reality, Aaron’s three dimensional ride is his Kuda pictured above. His eye for detail and talent make it extremely hard to tell what is 2D and what is real, but if you take a look at beckkustoms, you can witness the Kuda’s build and the labour of love that is the car’s interior.
So I doff my cap to you, Sir Aaron Beck, for your creations are sinister and the epitome of ‘badass’ – I’ll certainly be paying extra attention when I sit down and watch Mad Max: Fury Road.
Road movies are great, car chase movies are better, the live car chases broadcasted from helicopters the best.
For those born from the 80s onwards, you may not be familiar with the image above – sitting behind the wheel of the white Ford 4X4 is NFL hero/alleged murderer, O.J. Simpson. The story isn’t really pertinent to my article, but the fact he was high profile meant full-on TV coverage of his chase through Los Angeles. Despite the chase being at slow speed, the image of Simpson’s Bronco being followed by 20 cop cars, their lights flashing, makes for one cool scene.
Which leads me onto the point of my article and a question I want to ask all you auto enthusiasts: If you were to outrun the cops, knowing you’d eventually grab the attention of helicopters and TV, what vehicle would you choose? It would obviously have to be fast, but would it be a sensible/reliable choice, or would the thought of cameras make you opt for something exotic or badass?
Despite being caught, this video highlights how some drivers end up as legends when they appear to have the skills of Ken Block. Yes, they are criminals and they are endangering lives, but this is Gargling Gas and we like everything to do with speed, action and all-roundbadassary.
This video shows a driver with a little savvy, knowing the cops are targeting him with spike strips. Although he successfully swerves and avoids a few attempts at puncturing his tyres, the driver decides he can walk up to cops with a gun and not get shot. He gets shot…
Okay, most of us wouldn’t face the might of Dubai’s Police livery, but let’s consider the cars other countries use on the highway. Here in the UK, the police use Mitsubishi Evos and Subaru STIs, and the Somerset force even took delivery of an Ariel Atom – the car that gave Jeremy Clarkson a face lift.
Ariel Atom Police Car
Gallardo-Monza
This Lambo Gallardo LP560-4 is used by the Italian Polizia traffic unit. Rumour has it Lamborghini actually donated two of their 202-mph cars to the police, although one was written off a few years ago.
Dodge Charger Pursuit AWD
Although not as fast as the Atom or the Lambo, my favourite is this 2014 Dodge Charger Pursuit, apparently the fastest police car in the USA. It possesses muscle car heritage, looks badass, mean and dangerous. If I had to battle on the highway with a cop car, this is the one I wouldn’t want to go up against.
So with these cars in mind, and the fact you could have your fifteen minutes of fame on the highway, what vehicle would choose to take on the cops in?
This article was inspired by a youtube video I watched on my phone in bed at 5am this morning. Unlike most guys who may start their day in an entirely different way, I usually spend an hour or two watching car clips and videos. Now, I’ve always been into evil cars, way before the ‘murdered out’ look took hold, and by ‘took hold’, I mean all the celebs and the whole car wrapping deal.
Because of the ‘murdered out’ tag and fad, it seems I’m among a minority who actually understand what a true ‘murdered out’ car is. There are certain esoteric rules that have to be adhered to if a car is to be accepted into the’murdered out’ gang. First off, if your name is David Beckham or Justin – I can’t even get a speeding ticket in a Lambo – Bieber, then kindly f**k off. If you are a fan and think Beckham’s Porcshe or Bieber’s Caddy are ‘murdered out’, then I implore you to do the same.
Never mind the Porsche, just take a look at the car above – it’s a Cadillac CTS-V. It’s Cadillac’s fast and expensive warrior sent to challenge zi German’s AMG and ///M badges. It’s supposed to be a shiny and luxurious car, a hi-tech machine that can be turned into a track car at a touch of a button. The Matte black wrap is hideous – it’s like handing James Bond a shovel and asking him to dig a grave for the last person he shot.
Before I waste your time by trying to explain what these esoteric rules include, please check out the video below.
Enjoy? I did, no matter how early it was, and despite what other manly activities take place at this time in the morning, I could’ve done the same over this car.
A ‘murdered out’ car can’t be forced; it can’t be a new car wrapped in black. It has to have presence, a character, as though it could start up on its own and take a slow and ominous cruise around town – think Christine on fire and taking herself back to Darnell’s DIY garage, think of other movies such as, The Car, Duel and even Jeeper’s Creepers (notice the Caddy’s horn in the vid?). In fact, now I’ve mentioned Stephen King, I’ve just remembered a short story of his, Mile 81, a tale featuring a mud-covered station wagon (which was strange because there hadn’t been any rain in the area for over a week) that veers into the Mile 81 rest area, ignoring the sign that says “closed, no services.” The driver’s door opens but nobody gets out. This is the kind of eerie presence a true ‘murdered out’ car should possess.
Anyway, I’ll leave you with a short clip that will give you another accurate idea of what a real murder car is all about – it’ll definitely put a smile on your face.
The Cannonball Run 1980 Lamborghini Countach LP400S
Also known as the Cannonball Baker Sea-To-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash, the 2813-mile NYC to L.A. Speed Race has inspired movies and books, stories Gargling Gas finds most appetising and inspirational. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll know the score, if you haven’t, here’s a brief history and current record holders.
1915 Erwin “Cannon Ball” Baker and his Stutz Bearcat
Cannonball Run History
The race as we now know it is a mere celebration and the recognition of a guy called Erwin G. “Cannon Ball” Baker. Although he set his first coast to coast record in 1914 on an Indian motorcycle, a year later saw Baker drive a Stutz from L.A. to NYC in 11 days, 7 hours and fifteen minutes. In 1916, “Cannon Ball” piloted a Cadillac 8 Roadster in a staggering seven days, eleven hours and fifty-two minutes – despite the modern era Cannonball Run taking longer than a whole day on the road, it’s a sprint in comparison.
Google maps states that New York City to Los Angeles should take you around 45 hours of driving. The current record is a staggering 28 hours and 50 minutes. That’s an average of 98-mph!
So what does it take to get near that benchmark time? Many have tried, many have fallen, few have succeeded. And vitally, what car would you need to keep the average speed high, reliability issues nil, and remaining as inconspicuous as a Cannonballers’ personality dares?
Cannonball Route
The route starts at NYC’s Red Ball Garage on East 31st Street, crossing many state lines, finishing at the Portofino Inn at Redondo Beach, California. No real rules, only a gentlemen’s agreement that the vehicle entered had to be driven the entire route, i.e. no identical sister vehicles waiting on standby. If you were caught speeding and fined, the ticket was the driver’s responsibility and the time taken to receive the citation counted on top of the overall time.
The route has seen minor changes over the years, which has ultimately led to a few discussions and debates on times vs mileage. The calculators have come out a few times to establish if times were legit in claiming the record.
Brock Yates and Dan Gurney and the 1971 Record Ferrari 365 GTB 4
Cannonball Royalty
In 1971, automotive journalists, Brock Yates and F1/Le Mans winner, Dan Gurney set a real precedence when they managed to smash 40 hours in a Ferrari 365 GTB/4 “Daytona”. They took the Cannonball Baker Sea-To-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash AKA the Cannonball Run in 35 hours and 54 minutes.
As the originator of the Cannonball Run, Yates doesn’t acknowledge any new records due to his concern that “somebody was going to get killed”.
Richard Rawlings & Dennis Collins With The 1979 Winning Jaguar XJ-S
Although the 1979 record stood for some time, I couldn’t find much image-wise as far as the car and drivers were concerned. However, I did find a few of the car discovered by the pair who eventually beat the record (see pic below).
1979 entrants, Dave Heinz and Dave Yarborough shattered the old record with their Jaguar XJ-S. It was the last official Cannonball Rally and they set an amazing time of 32 hours and 51 minutes, at an average speed of 87 miles per hour (140 kph).
Richard Rawlings, Dennis Collins & Ferrari F550
Famed for their TV appearances in Discovery’s Fast N’ Loud programme, Richard Rawlings, owner of Gas Monkey Garage and his best friend, Dennis Collins, previously made a name for themselves when they broke the long-standing 1979 record in 2007 with a time of 31 hours and 59 minutes at an average speed of 87.6-mph.
The pair are also two-time winners of both the Bullrun and the Gumball Rally. The record car was a black Ferrari F550 with modified fuel cells to lower the amount of times needed to stop.
When you consider the modern technology and car used compared to the Jaguar XJ-S, although the Cannonball and Gumball veterans beat the record, it just highlighted the amazing achievement set 28 years earlier.
Alexander Roy
Taking technology to another level, Alexander Roy went to great lengths to minimise potential stoppages, including a “spotter” helicopter. No stranger to the Gumball and Bullrun rallies, Roy and his co-driver David Maher eventually beat the record in 2006. They managed 2800 miles in 31 hours and 4 minutes, at an average of 90.1-mph.
Richard Rawlings and Dennis Collins claimed, although Roy beat their previous record, he did not “stick to the route” of the original Cannonball Run. Roy counter-claimed that the route changed and varied slightly every year, and that the only rule was total A-B time. As the 31:04 was nearly an hour faster than the previous record, it was agreed it was also a sufficient margin to make up the 11-mile difference.
As you can see in the picture above, Roy likes the interior of his BMW M5 to look like a flight simulator. From GPS to police scanners, Roy uses everything, but rather than make a tedious list, watch the video below and hear about them from the man himself.
Ed Bolian and His Mercedes Benz CL55 AMG
Alexander Roy’s record fell in 2013 to Lamborghini dealer, Ed Bolian. After four years of preparation, including the installation of a second 22-gallon fuel tank to his 115,000-mile Mercedes CL55 AMG, he ate up the 2,813 miles in 28 hours, 50 minutes and 26 seconds. This meant the spare tyre had to share the backseat with his spotter, Dan Huang. The extra fuel tank was also the reason Bolian chose the Mercedes, as the CL55 possessed the suspension to take the extra weight of fuel.
Like Roy, Bolian relied on laser jammers radar detectors and even a rear-light kill switch. Along with two GPS units, all important space and tech had to be considered for smartphone and tablet chargers. Throw in food, drink and bedpan, you start to understand just what is required in remaining in a car for over 24-hours.
Although many records were set before him, Bolian’s inspiration fell at the hands of the legend, none other than Edwin “Cannonball” Baker, the guy who started it all.
This seems like a good place to finish and ask you, the Reader, “what car would you choose to take on the Cannonball Run”?
VW-Phaeton-6-0-W12-4MOTION
Me?
I’d opt for one of my favourite sleepers, the VW Phaeton W16, complete with extra fuel cells, ABBA on shuffle to inspire a quicker journey to end the suffering, and water-proofed seats for the inevitable accidents.
At Gargling Gas we believe cars possess character and personality just like us. You associate certain cars with certain things, just like we stereotype a person for driving a certain car i.e. BMW/Estate Agent or Audi TT/Hairdresser.
So with this in mind, I pondered on these mechanical characters and personalities, eventually imagining cars selecting weapons from a gun rack. Within minutes I had a whole fleet of cars and an arsenal large enough to pull off a small heist.
I’ll start with the first car/gun that sprung to mind as I have owned one (the car, that is) and loved every minute of driving her.
AK-47 (Kalashnikov)
Probably one of the most famous guns in the world, the AK-47 is a reliable and powerful assault rifle. Although rather dated now, it is a particular favourite with terrorists.
I associate the AK-47 with the middle east and places such as Libya, Pakistan and Afghanistan. Here we have the W126 Mercedes-Benz S Class, a car I also associate with these places, especially the corrupt leaders and dictators. The Merc is a classy and smooth ride, renowned for its German reliability and build quality. If you need transporting across a country to execute a few people in comfort and style, this is the ride for you.
Mini Sub Machine Guns: Mac-10, Tec-9, Micro Uzi
These mini machine guns are great for those moments when you need to aim and spray. Because of their compact size, they are light and easier to conceal.
Whenever I see these cute little guns, the first image to hit me is South Central L.A. and a gang pulling off a ‘drive by’. The car of choice in these parts is always the ’64 Chevrolet Impala, its suspension modified to transform it into a low rider.
Sniper Rifle
I envisage the movies when it comes to the sniper rifle, a cool and calm hitman carrying his trusty briefcase containing a Meccano set of gun components. He’ll find a room, quickly and efficiently assemble his rifle and centre the cross hairs onto his mark.
Classy, robust, extremely powerful yet tastefully understated, the Audi A8 (the car from Ronin) is the perfect choice of car for a hitman.
The infamous sawn-off pump action shotgun
The sawn-off is an old concept used by many a gangster, although I always picture the cockney London gangsters/cocaine dealers using them.
And what motors are synonymous with Saaff Laandan gangsters? The Ranger Rover Sport, of course.
The Magnum .44 (Dirty Harry)
Described as the most powerful revolver in the world (The Smith & Wesson Model 500 has since taken that title), the .44 is a head removing revolver with one hell of recoil kick. This gun is also a favourite in movies, particularly Dirty Harry, “You’ve got to ask yourself a question: ‘do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?”
I think someone who buys a .44 Magnum is proud to be American, and this would come into play when choosing a car. That would mean a Cadillac – because this vehicle was ubiquitous throughout all three Dirty Harry movies, this ’76 Eldorado fits the bill perfectly.
Glock
When it comes to this piece of engineering excellence, I can think only of the F.B.I and authority. The reason they prefer this Austrian 9mm semi-automatic is for its reliability.
Compared to the cops and their Crown Vics, the F.B.I. would select something a little more exciting, a car relecting their bigger egos. They are known to go for black, and this understated Charger R/T speaks nothing but F.B.I.
Snub Nose .38 Police Special
This cute little fella is the preferred weapon of choice by detectives and private eyes. The snub nose allows for easy concealment and the gun itself offers a decent amount of close range stopping power.
Any undercover agent or private eye would choose a boring but popular car, something that blends in to its surroundings no matter it goes. There is nothing more boring than a grey Honda Accord – popular, featureless, the car equivalent of a chameleon.
So what gun would you choose, and does it reflect your choice of car?
You may or may not have heard of the term “Sleeper Car” before – to some it probably sounds like a camper van vehicle or caravan – however, a Sleeper Car is the complete opposite of the meaning derived from the word “Sleeper”.
As you’ve most likely guessed from the title, this type of vehicle is a bog standard car hiding and possessing enormous amounts of power under its coat.
Example: How great would it be to embarrass a Porsche at the lights in an old Mitsubishi Galant? How is this done? Mitsubishi are primarily known for their EVO cars, the ultimate turbo tuning machines. Despite this, their Galant VR4 (pretty standard in appearance) comes with 276 bhp stock, so with some tuning and performance upgrades at a relatively low cost, they can be boosted to around 600+ bhp.
Mitsubishi Galant VR4
Depending on your budget, any car can be transformed into a Sleeper car. I recently watched an episode of Fast N’ Loud on Discovery where Richard Rawlings and Aaron Kaufman took an old ’59 Rambler Wagon (pic below), treated and clear coated its weathered body for effect, but installed a massive 4.8L Chevrolet V8 with an Edelbrock Carburettor and MSD direct ignition and disk brakes. From the outside it looked like an old truck, but a blip of the gas and it could shift tectonic plates.
One problem you face boosting horsepower is hiding the upgrades needed to cope with the extra grunt. The main two are exhausts and brake callipers. Unless you purchase black callipers, simply paint them before installation. Exhausts are pretty simple if you can get under the car – ensure they are out of sight but still manage to function properly. Sports exhausts usually offer different styles, either for sound or performance. Try and pick one that offers optimum flow as well as offering a good amount of muffle – a deep rumbling exhaust suggests upgrades.
If you have bottomless pit of money to throw at car, check this Sleeper Car out for scaring pretty much any other potential racer at the lights. This is essentially an F1 powered Alfa 164 Procar. It was built in cooperation with Brabham and possess the only Alfa Romeo V10 ever built. This disguised Alfa produces 605 bhp at 12,000 rpm! – not sure what the insurance premium would be on this one.
Alfa Sleeper F1 Car
The perfect wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Alfa Sleeper Car
My favourite and perhaps the ultimate Sleeper is “Farm Truck” from the TV show Street Outlaws – check out the video below and witness the power that old truck can lay down.
If you are thinking about creating a Sleeper Car with a small budget, aim for a small and light turbo car, something you can add a cold air intake and bigger exhaust to, also one in which an ECU tweak is viable. These three options can add as much as 60-80 bhp to a small turbo car, putting you in the same arena as the bigger sporty saloons.
The majority of the vehicles making their way around the Canadian trailer park, “Sunny Vale”, in The Trailer Park Boys are Detroit originals, although some are the Canadian versions.
Easily my favourite and the car featured here at Gargling Gas is the “Shit Mobile”, one of the main characters, Ricky’s mode of transport and home.
After a little research I realised the car had an off-screen story to it too – the 1975 Chrysler New Yorker was owned by the show’s creator, Mike Clattenberg, and after driving right through to the second season, his wife deemed it too ugly and wanted it gone from their driveway.
In an interview with the loveable four-eyed, Bubbles, (Mike Smith) Auto Trader discovered there is more to the New Yorker than viewers may think.
When asked about Ricky’s “Shit Mobile”, Bubbles replied:
Yup. Big. Heavy. Powerful car. That was in mint condition when we first started and we had to break the car down. It took a long time to do with axes and sledgehammers. It was hard to dent it. There’s so much iron in the thing.
The actual Shit Mobile is so banged up, but it’ll still do a brake stand to this day. You can’t kill the engine in that car. It always fires up every time someone turns the car on. The thing is still working.
Just goes to show that the phrase “They don’t make them like they used to” really does apply to the automobile.
Gargling Gas is all about cars and their personalities, and this beat up New Yorker is the perfect example of how those knocks, dents and scratches (and even lack of doors) give a car its character.
Owning a BMW E36 325i (HeLLga) and possessing a passion for sideways action, it was only a matter of time before I’d stumble across the ‘The Ugly Duckling’, the incongruously placed BMW above. Its owner hails from a part of Europe boasting scented forests and pristine lakes, a seemingly serene and peaceful place… until you look a little closer.
There are some pretty cool goings-on taking place in Lithuania at the moment, a combination of old school BMWs, mad driving skills, and a creativity and enthusiasm captured in a series of short films.
Norbertas Daunoravičius (pictured above) is the brains behind Norbe Films, a vision shared through his websiteand YouTube channel. Here he reveals both his love of retro Bimmers and his ability to make them slide. Referring to what is commonly known as the ‘Drift Missile’, Norbertas prefers the name ‘Sledge’, a term coined from the current Lithuanian car culture.
Norbe Films presents useful videos on Sledge preparation, primarily involving an old BMW and wrenching on it until it will drift. The film below is the longest – and perhaps considered his feature piece – The Ugly Duckling. Although the 15 minutes of footage features hardcore Hooning and antisocial driving, Norbetas manages to convey intelligence, humour and a real passion for cars. The Ugly Duckling also captures the spirit and culture of Lithuania, its people strong-willed, inventive and industrious.
If you haven’t got 15 minutes to spare, check out the excerpt above, a little taster, a lesson in Lithuanian parking.
Gargling Gas 